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22nd October 2012

October Mailout: Your Inbox Needs A Kaneing!

Russell Kane
Greetings Kaneites, this is my second mailout...

The tour is well and truly thrusting along now. I’ve already eaten more than a thousand Ginsters and my pancreas is so engorged from post-show partying that you could make glittery foie gras from my innards.
As usual audiences have been lovely. 

It’s an effing recession so I’m surprised and humbled by the amount of lovely faces that I get squirt my sticky mirth at. People are really friendly too. A girl grabbed my arse in Luton and I got a semi-rod on. Happy days.

If you fancy, there are still a few tickets left here and there 

I’m buzzing like a house-wife’s toy drawer about Hammersmith Apollo on Sunday October 28th. I’m inviting a few celebby friends too. Though I imagine they’ll all blow me out as I’m a d-lister with a shit haircut.

Seriously though - you might have seen on my Twitter I’m having an after-drinkie at The Apollo in one of the naughty rooms at the back of the venue, and I've picked one of you lovely mailing list folks to join me. 

So, if your name is Hannah then you can expect an email soon about how you and a mate can claim your prize. Congratulations! 

Watching Unzipped?

I hope you’re all watching Unzipped. 

If you just said “What the f**** is Unzipped. Then click here to watch it.

Dungeons & Dragons, Orgies and Crisps

So far as my personal life, guys, it’s going okay with the lovely lady from Manchester, but the other night she found my Dungeons & Dragons stickers and then couldn't orgasm for three days. So - it's still just me and the pets living together. 

I have a trendy pad in London now. It’s lovely and all that - but I miss my family and friends bastard amounts. Maybe I’ll split the difference, head to Woodford, Essex Borders. It’s all going well in the rumpy pumpy department. 

I plan to have an orgy soon. By an orgy, I mean using both my hands at the same time.

I’ve also been eating a lot of crisps. And egg.

One of the Russells